Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Minor Setback

So its been a few weeks since I posted. Things have been going pretty well, and I am down 11 lbs. I seem to have had a minor setback. Not with the weightloss, but with the weight loss medication. I am having some pretty frustrating side effects from the meds, one of which is my blistered swelling lips. I also am having some stomach issues too. I am a little overwhelmed right now with it all, and have made the decision to stop taking the medication. I am TERRIFIED that I am going to fail. I have really noticed a difference in my appitite with the medicine, and now that I need to stop taking it, im worried that I will experience the cravings again, and fall. Please continue to pray for me as I continue this journey. Right now, its me and God and I know with his help, I can do anything. I have seen in the last 3 weeks that no sugar is ok. I am going to be ok! I can do this. I can resist the temptations, I can get up and go to the gym, I can lose this weight.

Everything else is going great for me. Jim is painging the house, and I am so excited to have everything looking fresh. Thanks to Pinterest, I have been super motivated to decorate. We will see how long that lasts, but for now, Im going to run with it.

Will post again soon! :)

Monday, January 9, 2012

IM A LOSER!!!!!! 357/92

I have officially lost 5 lbs. I have 357 days left to lose 92 lbs. I am so excited of my little 5 lb loss. Not so much for only 5 lbs, but becuase I am starting to feel great, look forward to exercising everyday, and can see that the changes I am making are making a difference. I keep telling myself to reach my 1st 25 lb goal, I have to reach each pound of weightoss. I have 20 lbs left to reach my first goal. Its so neat to see progress, even if its minimal. The changes that I have been making have been changes that I know will maintain my goal weight once I get there, and changes that if I have to keep to for the rest of my life I am ok with. One of the things that people do is get hard core to lose weight, reach their goal, then start eating regularly and wonder why they gain the weight back. For me, this year, I am making life long healthier changes.

I am so excited and even more excited to see what week 2 will take off :)

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Keeping things in perspective!

Do you ever feel like you run so much and you never have any time to really take care of what matters??? Well I do! I am so busy all the time doing this and that, and really at the end of the day, Ive actually accomplished very little at home. I spend more days running around like a chicken with my head cut off, either by need or by choice, that I get home and say "I didnt have time to get anything done today" or when I am home, I feel like I have run so much that I just want to plant myself on the couch, grab a drink, my phone, my laptop and the remote and become a couch potato for the day. Part of my quest to find a new me this year is learning how to prioritize, find good balance between the work, the fun, and the people in my life outside of my home, as well as my family. I seem to give to one and neglect the other. Feast or famine. When it looks to one like Im so busy, it looks to another like I didnt do anything, and I feel like im pulled in so many different directions. The past couple weeks, I have spent alot of time at home, catching up on chores, being lazy, spending time with my family, and I have really appreciated being at home, and what my home looks like at the end of the day vs. the days when I'm not here. Up until this week, I have to admit, I have tried to find something else to do most often so that I didnt have to face the overwhelming task of being a "stay-at-home" mom/wife. Whoever said that staying at home was all about soap opras and bon bons was obviously a man, or a woman with no kids.

With my new weightloss journey I have mentioned before that I am taking a medicine called Adipex. Im sure you have hard of it before, its pretty popular. With that, I have also been increasing my protein, and adding B12 vitamins and I have to say, I am OBVIOUSLY much more motivated. I have more energy, I do not feel weighed down by all the garbage I am eating, and I feel alert all day long. Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I am a SERIOUS napper. I take a nap daily. Well, I did take a nap daily until Jan 1. Now I dont feel like I need a nap. I am wide awake all day. I also feel the desire to get off my fat lazy behind (I dont say that to be negative about myself, I say that because I have been lazy, and have gotten fat...if the shoe fits) and get stuff done. Ive always had the desire to be a "Suzy Homemaker" but never seem to get the motivation or drive to get up and do something. This week, that is very different. I actually enjoy the cleaning (somewhat), cooking (trying new meals) and keeping up with stuff. I guess the medicine, and the weightlosss journey is meating 2 goals at once. Its helping me feel better, so that I feel up to the challenge of other things.

I have to say, this week hasnt seemed that hard. I havent been hungry, Ive had lots of energy, Ive tried to eat well, and havent had any sugar cravings. I havent gone to the gym all week until today, but I did go today, and have to say that I actually enjoyed my workout...the 1st 20 minutes of it anyways, that last 10 min was hard, but I kept on and finished and was super proud of myself. I wasnt expecting to lose very much weight this week, because this was my "transition" week and I havent been doing the workout until today, but Im excited to see what the scale will say on Monday.

As for my marriage, I have never been happier. I have spent the last week going out of my way to try to put Jim first, think of him often, be helpful, thoughtful, and kind, and I have to say, we both see a difference. I think in life you get so busy, just like with running all day, that you forget to stop and pay attention to what really matters. Well Jim really matters....and along with the house keeping, and the weightloss, I am seeing progress at home with us too.

I want to share one more thing for the night. In the mist of my crazy world, everyone who knows me knows im a social butterfly, and tend to get way too involved in stuff that is none of my business. I take things to heart, offer to help, get myself in way over my head and then get my feelings hurt. I spend so much time trying to spend time with friends I neglect things at home. I worry about things that arent my own issues, I stress about peoples opinions, thoughts, and if im going to make someone mad or hurt someones feelings. Good in the right circumstances, but I find myself often taking those things too far. Well God has really spoke to me several times with a passage that I can not stop looking at.

Galatians 6:4-5 (NLT) Pay careful attention to your own work, fo rthen you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct.

WOW....how fitting is that. Its time for me to get it together, my home, my priorities, my daily routines, be more intentional about what I do, and stop lerking around in stuff that isnt something I need to mess with and get to my own business. A task that for me is going to take practice, time and maybe some hurt feelings on a few people's end, but is necessary to becoming the me that I need to be. The me that God created me to be. The me that feels like I have a purpose.

So far, Im off to a great start in 2012! Its only the 5th, but that is 5 days closer to new habits, and a new me!

Monday, January 2, 2012

366-100

So my journey to being 100 lbs lighter is well under way. Wow I'm terrified. If you know me well, you know I am a junk food junkie, especially sweets! I know that losing this weight is going to mean lots of diet changes and the one I am embracing first is cutting out the sugar and carbonated drinks. (also the sweet tea) I tried this a few years ago and I have to admit, it didn't last long. This year is about embracing changes, not being afraid of them, so I know this year will be much different. I believe it's all in the attitude, and I am very hopeful and even a little excited. I also started some weight loss medicine. I never thought I would get to the point when I would need medicine to lose weiht, however I realize that I need help and I can either ask for the help or keep failing. I am choosing to take the help I need and move forward. I have also started taking b-12 vitamins for energy and having a protein shake for breakfast. Hopefully these changes will help me feel better throughout my day and keep me motivated to get moving. Which leads me to my next change. I will be exercising for at least 30 minutes at least 5 days a week. I HATE to exercise, so I really think this will be my biggest challenge. I have a hard time getting motivated to break a sweat, however I am determined to change my attitude towards exercise (although the walking unfreezing cold windy weather may not be something I try again anytime soon). Overall I'm super excited to get this weightless under way. Today is day 2. I have to however make a correction. Last week when I stepped on the scale, and I weighed 242.2 lbs. my goal weight is 145 (which is the middle range healthy for my height). So I really only have 97 lbs to lose. Well today, I weighed 239.2, so I really have 94 lbs to lose now. See the numbers are looking more manageable already. So I guess the challenge should be 364-94. I can totally do this!!!!!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Happy New Year!!

Wow, 2011 went by way too fast! It seems like yesterday I was trying to keep New Year resolutions and failiing miserably. We welcomed in 2011 with ideas of big changes, and a great year, and ended up with nothing different from the year before. Not this year. Welcoming 2012 for me is welcoming new changes, bigger goals, higher priorities, and making my life a whole new life. Saying hi to 2012 is beginning a new journey. Well, several new journies to be hones. I have set some pretty steep goals for myself for this year. You know, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over & over again, but expecting a different result. I have been the same Christina for the last 33 years....of course growth and change has happened, but I am full of bad habits, the same mindset, and the same attitude as I have in the past, and I wonder why I am not happy with my life. I have so much to be thankful for, yet I have so much I can work on to make my life exactly what it is. I am sharing my goals with you for 2 reasons. 1. So I can clearly define them myself, and 2. so you can help hold me accountable for them. So here goes....here is what I hope 2012 will hold for me....
1. A happier healthier marriage. Everyone who is married or has ever been married knows that relationships have peaks and vallys. Well, recently, we have been in a few valleys. It has been so easy for me to blame, or to say "I would love you more if", but truth is, I do not think I know how to love. I know how to like, I know how to get what I want, and be happy when things are good, but to love unconditionally the way God loves me is something that now, I am beginning to realize that I do not know how to do. So, for 2012, I am determined to totally, completely love Jim more. To fall in love wiht him again, and find a love for him that I have never known.
2. To attend church regularly. Yes, I attend church, but its not a priority. Its easy to find excuses and reason for skipping, talking myself into why its justified for me to stay home is geting me no where. I am chosing to make my attendance at church a priority. Starting today. Service was wonderful, and super motivating, and I am so excited that I can say that I was there.
3. A clean, organized home. Anyone who knows me for 5 min. knows that I procrastinate. I tend to be lazy and put stuff off until its overwhelming to me, and the task goes from a small hill to an unmanageable mountain. That stops today. My home is wonderful, and I have been blessed with so much, and God has given me the job of taking care of what he has blessed me with. So I will start being better about that today. Well, yesterday and a few days before that really. I am proud of the progress I have made in the last few days, and pray that my motivation continues.
4. A new healthier, skinnier me. In the past 10 years, I have gained 100 lbs. Yup, you read that right, from the time I met my husband until now, I am 100 lbs heavier. Yesterday when I got on the scale it screamed 242.2 lbs. I am sharing this with you to help me be hones wiht myself. I am not just a little big, or gained a few lbs, I have been lazy and made horrible decisions for myself, and today, I start a new journey to weightloss. I am calling it 366 to 100. 366 days (Yes, this year is a leap year) to lose 100 lbs. Today at 242.2 I am chosing to make healthier decisions with food, exercise more, and kick the sugar addiction. I have set a goal of not drinking anything carbonated, exercising for 30 min 5 days a week, and cutting out the sweets. I also have started taking some medicine for some help, that I only plan on taking for a few months. My Dr. feels that I just need a jumpstart, and hopefully, thats all I need to get going. I am not expecting to sit down take pills and lose weight, I am expecting myself to make a big change to a new me.
5. Last but of course not least, actually the most inportant, I am chosing to grow closer to God in the next 12 months. My faith, and relationship with Christ has grown in the past few years, and I want nothing more than to take that to new levels. I am nothing more than a sinful, selfish person who wants instant gratification, newer nicer and better material things, and wants to have everything without giving anything. I am making 2012 a year where I grow to a new level with Christ and learn to be content, serve more, learn patience, focus on him with purpose and intention with everything I do. I truely want to live a life where people will one day remember me as someone who loved God, and led an infectious life. That starts today.
You will hear about my progress in all of my goals in the blogs to come. Your prayers, support, and encouragment will be greatly appreciated. Today starts a new day where I will make the life that I want so desperatly to have. I dont expect overnight changes, or overnight results. Nor do I expect any of this to be easy. I am the most undisciplined person I know, however I know that with prayer, determination, a little bit of discipline, well alot of discipline, and a pure heart with good intentions, all of my above goals can and will be reached in 2012.